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I can't hold down a job because of anxiety. It feels awful. What can I do?

I am 33 and I have a horrible job record because either I didn't understand the jobs I worked or the job just wasn't for me. I've tried but I always get extremely anxious on jobs I start now because I have failed dozens and dozens of times. I still have bad flashbacks of jobs that didn't work out for me. I have had employers fire me because I couldn't figure out the job and that has kind of messed me up in the head. I did well in college and I really wanted more out of life than this, but this is just how things turned out. And now the economy is bad too. What would be a good type of job that I can work without getting nervous or failing?

Generalised Anxiety Disorder: There is a saying in the mental health field: "if the only tool you have in your kit is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as a nail". So it goes with doctors, and their prescription pads: handy, quick, and convenient, when trying to manage a large list of patients, with very limited time for each.

With anxiolytics (anti-anxiety medication, such as Lexapro, or Paxil, which treat both anxiety and depression) you are only addressing the symptoms, and even then, often only temporarily, as your system becomes used to it, and you have to accept the risks of an increased suicide/homicide rate, aberrant behaviour, and side effects, such as possible sexual dysfunction, (common) or weight fluctuation. For those reasons, I recommend first trying the alternatives, (which only treat the symptoms, using supplements like inositol, and SAMe, or herbal remedies, such as c(h)amomile but the cause, as well) using the EMDR variant, EFT, and relaxation techniques. The anxiolytics/antidepressants will still be there, should the alternatives prove insufficient for you, but give them a tryout period of several weeks, first.

See anxiety treatments, at ezy build (below) in section 6. Set yourself a specific time period for worrying about anything, (say; around three quarters of an hour, possibly when you get home, or after your evening meal, but not too close to bedtime) after which, resolve firmly to refuse to even entertain the thought of worrying again on that day: realise and accept that to do otherwise would be counterproductive to your mental health, and enjoyment of life.

You will have had your "worry time" for the day, and can just write down any more thoughts that come to mind, and say to yourself: "Well, I'll just have to worry about that tomorrow, won't I?". It is important to deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, or images, by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately.

When you notice something negative, such as: "I'm never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so pathetic/useless/such a loser?" or even: "I can't do this/will never get over this!", or a disturbing image, recognise that this is part of the mindset which will hold you back from progressing in your recovery. Having identified and labelled it, I first visualise a large "STOP!" sign, then I say to myself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick", instead of "tactic". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version. Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method.

Practice one of the relaxation methods in sections 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Alternatively, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. There is also a version for use in public places, (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind). Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris also refer: "Even though I sometimes suffer from anxiety, I deeply and completely accept myself." Neurofeedback treatment for anxiety is increasingly becoming available. Herbal remedies, such as valerian, (which is not for use if depression is also present) passionflower, St.John's wort, are often effective, but the idea is (as with anxiolytic medication) to use them like water wings, or training wheels on a bicycle, providing initial support, and giving time for other treatments, such as therapy, and relaxation techniques, to take effect.

(The following is a variant of EMDR therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, insomnia, and anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective. It is easy to be dismissive of such a seemingly unusual technique, but give it a good tryout, for at least a few weeks, to see if it is effective in your case).

Prior to using either of the methods in the above paragraph, first sit comfortably, and take a deep breath. Then, without moving your head, move your eyes from the left, to the right, and back again, taking around a second to do so (say: "a thousand and one": this takes approximately a second).

Repeat this procedure (without the words, although you can count, subvocally, if you like) 20 times: "A thousand and one; a thousand and two... " and so on, to a thousand and twenty. Then close your eyes and relax. Become aware of any tension or discomfort you feel.

Then open your eyes, and take another deep breath, and repeat step one, closing your eyes, and relaxing afterwards, in the same manner. Then, repeat the procedure one last time. Some people may find that this is all they need do. With experience, you may find that you can practise this in public, with your eyes closed, which greatly widens the window of opportunity for its use, and avoids attracting unwanted attention. I have found that the 2 - 3 minutes spent using the EMDR markedly reduces distractions to the relaxation process, and is repaid many times over.

I also use it prior to my chosen relaxation technique, after lights out, at night. For more about Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing therapy, showing recommendations by those who have used it, including a professional psychotherapist with more than 20 years of experience in that field, see sections 33 - 34, at ezy-build. She was skeptical, at first, and I remained unconvinced, until trying it, and now I use it twice daily, including after lights out, at night. ~~~

Possibly a librarian, school assistant, or security guard. Also see section 38, at ezy build.

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